To feel lonely is a failure to see
All the gifts that surround you
Open your eyes
The world waits your embrace.
There was a time when I was conscious of being alone and of my loneliness. I lived a terrible fright, avoided the light for fear it would illuminate my imperfections exposing unsuitability to walk amongst the beautiful people dancing their way down the streets and up the steps into cozy homes with waiting lovers who go out of their way to ensure the beloved felt warm heart strands of complete love, an all-encompassing love. I was unaware the spouse refused to kiss lips instead licking the mouth, dog style, creating a hierarchy of me master, you dog who will only to be acknowledged only when it suits me to share a sliver of my being via a wet tongue.
If I’m in a good mood and there’s nothing left intriguing to do, I accepted the last chance lick…until I grew the courage to walk into the burning light and emerge the other side by myself, clothing and encumbrances burned away leaving flesh exposed and longish hair flowing, mind free to spade deep packed soil slowly revealing deep roots etched in ant language…translated as ‘the hard path leads to golden honey’. Obviously, they had sniffed out a beehive and forged their own destiny.
I shrunk my ego and followed a ways behind the last ant fearing they would take unkindly to a pale outsider. They were, after all, red ants with spiky black fringes and slicing mandibles. They cleaned out the honey hive devouring the queen in the process leaving only her head and a single drop of the golden liquid stuck to her stiffened mouthparts.
I gave her a sucking kiss pulling the sweet, sun drop into my own mouth, swallowing without chewing, feeling the heat infiltrate my body, mind, soul (which are all the same) releasing in me the knowledge that the best company for me is me…and…being alone, the opposite of lonely, gives me the silent time to commune with myself and grow into a fully present human being.