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Avoiding A Monkey Fucking


I pretended not to hear him, although mentally I wished him a monkey fucking. ~Roberto Bolaño

One of the coping mechanisms I learned from my father was extreme avoidance. “Ignore it and it will go away.” “Pretend it did not happen.” “Never talk about it.”

Conflict is avoided in the short term but the underlying problem never addressed, like a boil on the ass, festers until it explodes spraying stinky puss in all directions. Resentment grows slowly, gradually until the steam escapes the kettle in a scream and the only possible outcome is a verbal monkey fucking, a monkey dick pounded into the ear of a person who may not have been the source of the conflict. Collateral damage.

I either cases, a monkey fucking compounds the problem. One that, in most instances, could have been resolved with a single, difficult conversation before escalating to an all out war. If only we had been taught the tools to disagree respectfully, to exit a conflict at the resolution end thus strengthening the relationship. I would be a healthier person.

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